***For colored girls who have been called “thicker than a Snickers” and other dumbass colloquialisms when being called “attractive” was not enuf.
I do not enjoy being referred to as “thicker than a Snickers” and if you think I’m being nitpicky feel free to go and tell that to someone who cares. I do not enjoy being reduced down to the rack near the cash register at Walgreens. The years I spent learning to love myself and the messages I have received from other young women as thanks for having inspired them are more valuable than f*cking nougat. My body is not a piñata favor. My confidence is not confection.
I know what you’re thinking. I’m like Raven Baxter or Dionne Warwick or something. I know you’re thinking “I mean, it’s just something people say! Chill! It’s no big deal!” It’s only “no big deal” because you haven’t realized how…how…stupid it actually is! Not only is it offensive to compare a woman’s body to something that will probably kill you over time, it doesn’t even make any sense! Thicker than a Snickers??? Whet? In my expert opinion, Snickers bars are relatively average in size in comparison to other candy bars. They aren’t necessarily “thick”. Not even in consistency as compared to competitors. So wtf are you saying to me? In that case I’m thicker than a Milky Way too. And don’t you dare say it’s because “thicker” and “snicker” rhyme. Two words rhyming doesn’t justify them being put together to describe a human being. In that case, all of you loud ass n*ggas are officially louder than some chowder. Do you see how f*cking stupid that is? I dare you to put your ear to your next bowl of New England clam and make that sh*t make sense. I hope you scald your ear off.
I’m really proud of what I’m building for myself and I am proud of every woman (or man, I’m completely gender and identity friendly) who took a look at an image of me or anyone else and at least considered wearing that pair of shorts she told herself she has too much cellulite to wear. Body positivity is real and it’s hard. And I expect to be sexualized frequently along the way (a whole ‘nother topic), but for the love of God, stop stuffing this progress into a chocolatey outer shell! If you see an attractive women, tell her she’s attractive. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her she’s gotdamn fine. But do not tell her she’s 27g of sugar. Appreciate her life a little more than what truncating her down to food suggests. Her confidence is not confection. Stop trying to melt it in your mouth.